May. 8th, 2006

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I woke up this morning, stepped out onto the balcony and noticed the city in dense fog. The perfect Monday morning and it was a stunning visual of how I felt. I've acquired a lymph node disorder of sorts and the fluids behind my ears and in and beneath my jawline aren't draining properly. The weather has a lot to do with it, when it's raining or when it's really foggy like this morning I sit in one spot and massage my face until all the tension goes away. It's not incredibly painful, except for the occasional earache which too has to be massaged out. I suppose some people can smell the rain coming. I on the other hand can feel it.

Got to work and did my usual route. It was odd.. everyone seemed to be double parked, cutting me off etc. and I was starting to think it just wasn't going to be my day. That is until I got to Felton and there I stepped out of the van and saw an old lady struggling to get her keys in the ignition to start her car. She asked for my help and in doing so we sparked up the most interesting conversation. She's 84 years old and from Scotland and moved here many many years ago. Her first job was working at K-Mart making 50 cents per hour. Now retired, she then started to cry stating how lucky she felt that at her age she could still drive around, walk, do her own shopping and carry on a conversation. I was deeply moved on many levels. I talked about my grandmother in the nursing home and as the conversation ended, I coached her on backing out because she couldn't see around this other truck and she left. I felt a deep connection with her, so strong that I am still wondering where that all came from. I drove off wondering what I will be like when I am 84. I watched the movie Wild Strawberries last night made in 1957 by Igmar Bergman which had everything to do with this old man and his thoughts about dying and I wonder what is going on with my connection to old people at the moment and what the universe is trying to spell out.

This evening I got some Lotus incense, a black and a white candle and sage. After talking to the owner of the Sepents Lair, a witch shop downtown, I learned she needed some help in running her store. This is the same store I went to a couple of weeks ago. Possibly in the next few weeks I will be helping her out by being a cashier and running things part-time while she is doing readings or so she can have a day off. ** Yes, I'm fully aware of these commom yet extraordinary themes. What the hell is going on?! This is totally insane and although my past tells me to be careful I also know that I am dealing with totally different people who have survived the downtown scene for years. Maybe my experience at Spirit's Landing is actually paying off. Who knew?! *throws hands up.

-A waitress expressed having a crush on me at a local mexican restaurant tonight. She even told her fellow waitresses. How can you tell a girl the only way you like fish is served on a plate with lemon butter and garlic? So basically, it's just like dealing with a guy you have no interest in.. just don't look them in the eye, don't elaborate on any given topic in conversation and above all, leave the normal amount for tip and get the hell out of Mexico.

*rebought To Venus and Back and purchased Welcome to Sunny Florida. Oh what Bliss!!!!

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February 2007

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